101. You can make your own religion - No, actually, most people can't. The reason for this being that they are stupid and don't understand that a religion not only requires that you come up with a path for yourself, but variants that can be followed by a multitude of people other than you. Many people make the very stupid mistake that coming up with your own path makes it a religion. A religion implies that it's an actual functioning dogma that other people follow, thus precluding their ability to make *their* own religion. Doing whatever you want is not a religion.
100. There are no inflexible rules - That's right. Go ahead and have sex with sheep, sacrifice virgins and eat babies. But harm none right? Wait...
99. No ultimate evil - Sure there is... We just substitute the Big Bad Christians.
98. You can write your own rituals - Congrats. We've progressed to the level of a 5 year old. If you needed to have someone tell you that you're allowed to write your own communion with god or the gods, then you're barking up the wrong religion.
97. We appreciate each other - No, I don't appreciate stupidity thank you. I appreciate stupid people who are knowingly and stubbornly ignorant very little. I respect them enough not to hunt them down and kill them, but I still hope that they don't reproduce.
96. Pagans know: To be alone is not always to be lonely - Because we were all lonley and alone when we weren't pagans. Because before we found paganism, we didn't have a satisfying life. Pagans don't have the market cornered on Hermitism, nor on Social Ineptness. I reject the urge to attribute all things that happen in someone's life to paganism.
95. Acceptance of the unexplained rather than fear - No, pagans are human and still react with fear to anything unexplained or unknown. Look at the treatment of traditional wiccans, family traditionalists, and satanists for a taste of our wonderful pagan acceptence of things we don't understand.
94. Most of the negative things said about us aren't true - First true statement that can be attributed to paganism, but again, not only paganism, but any minority can claim this one. Also very lame reason to love a religion.
93. Some of the negative things are - See #94. Lame.
92. Bowing to the masses gives you a heavy heart and a bad back - What do you think this entire list is doing? It's bowing the the masses of brain dead people who like stereotyping paganism to make themselves feel better. Plus it's a lame ass, thinly veiled attack on Christianity. It might make you feel marginally better, but it makes you look like an idiot.
91. Paganism doesn't make you feel guilty - Whoever wrote this list should feel guilty for being part of the dumbing down of paganism. (Oh, and if you start talking about things that the little twits don't like, then you're a bad pagan, and they attempt to shame you about it.)
90. There are more Pagans in the world than you usually think - How is this a reason to like paganism? There are more cockroaches in the world than I think too. I should write a list now about the 101 things I love about cockroaches.
88. Don't hurt anybody: do whatever you want - See #'s 100, 99, and 91. This isn't a rule of paganism anyways. It's badly a badly stated, and sadly misunderstood and misinterpreted statement. And by no means does the entire pagan community subscribe to this. It's just that most of us learn at some point that if you attack a pagan, most of them will fight back, and the damage they do you makes it unwise to continue attacking them. Besides, what if what I really want to do, is hurt someone?
87. You know another Pagan usually before anything is said - A real pagan, yes. A peon, probably not as they don't have the right vibes. Still a lame ass excuse to like a religion. I can tell a Muslim or Christian before talking to them too. Is that a reason to love Islam, or Christianity?
86. No-one is better than anyone else - Bullshit. I'm better than quite a few people. Humility doesn't suit me at this point in my life. There is a group of pagans within the pagan community that I think are much better than most others for various reasons. Giving lip service to equality is cute, but not accurate.
85. Pagans generally debate, not fight - HA! Ever hear of Witch Wars? There's a reason why that term was coined. When you live outside of a closet you know these things.
84. Paganism accepts you no matter your sexual orientation - Broad overgeneralization. SOME pagans accept you. Paganism as a whole has no say on it.
83. Paganism accepts you no matter your race - Broad overgeneralization. SOME pagans accept you. There are also racist pagans.
82. Paganism accepts you no matter what - Broad overgeneralization. SOME pagans accept you. The rest of us think you're an idiot.
81. There is an understanding of the personal need for growth - There is an understanding that it exists. Just as anyone who walks through the self-help section understands that personal growth does at some point happen. In practice most pagans stubbornly insist on staying stupid instead of learning from people who are worthy or respect and have contributed to the community for decades. Instead they like people who have three names and a massive publishing contract.
80. At last there is a warm place for all us geeks - LAME. Geeks are finding more acceptance in an age where brainpower is considered more of an asset than brawn.
79. Even Pagans aren't quite sure where our beliefs come from - No, idiotic people don't know where their own beliefs come from. Some of us educated people have actually done the research required when following a particular path or philosophy and are well aware of where our beliefs come from. Stupid people don't know where their own beliefs come from. And I find it highly annoying that ignorance is considered an asset to the pagan community. LAME LAME LAME.
78. If bad things happen, it might not be soley your fault - That's right, you too can blame satan and invisible beings.. As long as you call it something else, like a faerie or an elf or a demon or another pagan. LAME.
77. Pagans understand the importance of tolerance - I have absolutely no tolerance for this statement. I will tolerate things that don't make me want to throttle the person that says them. I'll tolerate your right to not have me kill or maim you. I have no tolerance for stupidity, and I really don't care how nicely you try to package it. I also dislike statements that say well, either you're with us, or you're against paganism. Propaganda anyone? Tolerance also doesn't spring from paganism and thus should not be included on a list such as this one.
76. Pagans understand that Respect is not debasement - Pagans understand that respect doesn't mean that your brain must atrophy. Pagans understand that sometimes respect is not warrented, and that they have the right both to have their own opinions, and to express them. Still not a pagan quality. Try again.
75. True power comes from the love within - Can be said of most real religions, 12 step groups, and self help books. Try again.
74. Celebrating by candlelight invokes a mystical atmosphere - Congrats. You're singlehandedly reduced love of paganism to a love of candles. I feel more dumb just for having read this sentence.
73. Dancing to drums is instinctive - WTF? How is this pagan? Are we the only religion who uses drumming AT TIMES in our religion? No. Infact, most of the modern idea about dancing to drums comes from indigenious religions from around the world that we've beaten up and raped for their good points. Lame excuse to like a religion. Besides, since when did good rock drumming have....oh, what, that would be CYMBOLism.... (thanks Eldric!)
72. Symbolism speaks to the deeper parts of ourselves - ALL symbolism speaks to our psyche if we know it. Ass. This isn't pagan. Try again.
71. I've never seen a Pagan base self-worth on a pair of jeans - Have you seen them base self-worth on the number of crystals they're wearing? I have. Although with the seemingly instinctive desire for poverty that many pagans seem to have, it's much harder to enjoy luxuries like pants. Of course, when everyone is skyclad all the time, most people are busy basing their self-worth on cup sizes and penis length... (Thanks Eldric!)
70. No fear of an invisible enemy with a satirical streak -HA! Faeries. I don't need to say more.
69. No one demands you give up your possessions - see #71. Poverty is oh so ennobling.
68. Paganism lets you be yourself, no matter what - That's right, you be yourself. Over there. Away from me. The stupid might spread like the flu. And don't you dare harm anyone or you'll get the beat down.
67. Opening your eyes to a world you never realized was there - There's a world there? Oh come on. Many of us were well aware of the rest of the world. Many of us were even well aware of it before we knew there were other pagans.
66. Connection to a higher force without losing yourself - When 'Drawing Down the Moon'... Whatever you do, DO NOT LET THE GODDESS POSSESS YOU. -_- Most religions don't require you to lose yourself to connect to a "higher power".
65. Music speaks to the soul - What kind of a statement is this? Oh, it's like #72. Pagans love to attribute broad generalizations that actually don't have anything to do with paganism to paganism to make themselves feel better.
64. Pagans are responsible people - Tell that to all of the pagans with money problems or who are on welfare.
63. We don't blame invisible entities for our problems - It was the Elves, gnomes, trolls, gods, demons, etc... Not my fault.
62. To the best of our ability, we control our own fate - And everyone else is totally powerless against fate. Which is why we are the slave overlords. [sarcasm]As karma says we should be...[/sarcasm] (Thanks Eldric!)
61. Age is wisdom, not uselessness - That's right... Just ask all of the Elders who've devoted their lives to the craft only to be treated like crap by the rest of the community. If you doubt this one, go ask Issac Bonewitz. If we supported our Elders at some point, that stopped about the time people decided that anyone who followed an actually established path was stupid for wasting so much time practicing, learning, and following said path.
60. No one is judging you - Because they're all too braindead to think for themselves. (And if you don't say you don't judge, you're a liar and an idiot.)
59. No one really expects you to wait until you're married - Societal change that cannot be claimed by paganism.
58. A strong woman is not a Bitch, she is a Woman - and a Bitch. I'm a bitch, and proud.
57. You don't have to believe words written 2k years ago ...under mysterious circumstances. Christian bashing, and largely inaccurate. You don't have to believe in words written 2000 years ago, but you should believe in aliens and Atlantis.
56. It's easy to believe words you wrote yourself - Of course it is. Because who needs to learn anything anymore. Who could know more than you after all. Certainly not those Elders... Oh wait... Willow on Buffy might know more, since she's on TV.
55. You don't have to be beautiful to be worth something - You just have to sound all mysticKal and have lots of silly magicKal toys. Also, not a pagan attribute. (Thanks Eldric!)
54. You are beautiful - Ew. Get away. You don't even know me. Not a pagan attribute. And thank the gods because it's rather creepy.
53. Pagans are generally well-read people - Well....some can read. Of course there is a huge gap between literacy and reading comprehension. (Dick and Jane go Pagan. "See Dick summon a Demon.....Scream Jane Scream.") (Thanks Eldric)
52. Paganism teaches you to trust yourself - If you don't trust yourself already, paganism isn't going to do a damn thing for you.
51. The innocence of a child is valued for what it can teach us - And you know that Christianity doesn't value kids...that whole "Faith of a child" passage was a misprint (Matthew 19:14) (see: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?bo
50. Love everyone, unless they are bent on harm - Then you beat them down like the crazy bastards they surely are. Forget that they might have a reason and might be well aware of what they're doing. Especially, of course the assholes that kill harmless, innocent deer to feed their children....they all have to die. YOU BEAT THEM DOWN! HARM NONE, MOTHERFUCKER! (Thanks Eldric!)
49. The human body is beautiful; an instrument of pleasure - This comes with a small measure of self-esteem, not with being a pagan.
48. Dance expresses the Goddess in all of us -Unless of course you look like a spastic monkey on acid...that just pisses her off...
This isn't a pagan attribute, and it's redundant. See # 73. (Thanks Eldric)
47. Pagans make up their own minds: no belief at par -Tiger Woods is a powerful pagan of course....that's why he's rarely over par....
Redundant propaganda. See #'s 101, 100, 98, 57 & 56. If you need paganism to tell you you're allowed to think for yourself, you're the kind of person who would probably find a nice cult very liberating. (Thanks Eldric.)
46. Everything in nature is the manifestation of Deity - Except for those pesky humans...always fucking up nature... Not every pagan is a tree hugging hippie. Also not an exclusively pagan attribute. (Thanks Eldric.)
45. Self _expression is beautiful - Inna-gada-davida is a self-expression, 15 plus minutes of poorly played jazz organ isn't beautiful, I don't care who you are. I reiterate. If you need paganism to tell you that you can express yourself, then you have issues that are bigger than paganism as a whole, and would probably find great pleasure in a cult somewhere. (Thanks Eldric)
44. Pagans know that anger is useful, not 'evil' - Whoever said anger was evil? Ever hear of rightgeous anger? The Christians use the term quite a bit. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?bo
43. I've never seen a Pagan burn a book - Really, because it was the pagans that taught me that Bible paper doubles very well as rolling paper, and no one will suspect you for carrying a bible around. Serious statement: As much as most pagans hate to recognize it, the leaders of the Nazi Regime were pagan, wholly obsessed with the Occult. And they are some of the most famed book burners of all history. (Thanks Eldric)
42. Pagans take care of themselves - Not a pagan attribute. The vast majority of humans should be able to take care of themselves. I refuse to pride myself on the fact that I'm not a poo flinging troglodyte.
41. Pagans take care of others - which is why mol is having problems keeping subscriptions up... We take care of ourselves and our own community so well. I have never seen nor heard of a pagan food bank, although MW has a small community help program, it will remain small because of the great caring and generosity of the community. (Thanks Eldric)
40. No-one asks you to enslave yourself to a higher force - Except, of course, Emperor Palpatine....cause being a Sith just kicks ass. (Thanks Eldric) Also redundant. See #66.
39. No-one tells you what to do at all -As long as you don't hurt anyone, offend anyone, have your own opinion, or do anything, ever. (Thanks Eldric)
38. There are high expectations of Pagan behaviour - Like the behaviors mentioned in this list? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Also, this statement is in direct opposition to #39. Oh, and a bunch of loonies wandering around acting mysterious isn't exactly a high expectation of behaviour. (Thanks Eldric)
37. Pagans aren't afraid to cross the line in personal thought - my brain isn't exactly a line thing....it's mostly circular...eat, sex, sleep...every so often it makes this wierd squiggly then it settles back down in it's circle... See the answer to #39. (Thanks Eldric)
36. Pagans understand the dangers of Church and State - This is an American thing, not a pagan thing. The forefathers of America saw the dangers too, hence the separation. Not pagan. Christians don't understand that concept, of course... That's why Jesus talked about seperation of Church and State (Luke 20:23-25) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?se
35. Herbs and natural remedies are generally preferred - That's right, you too can treat terminal illnesses with dangerous backyard weeds. Just remember... It's natural. And natural means safe automatically. Here's a nice cup of hemlock juice for you, Socrates. Unless, of course, that natural herb is tobacco...then it's a HARM NONE MOTHERFUCKER! (Thanks Eldric)
34. Admit it: it's a bit nice to know things that others don't - Librarians are all pagan of course....cause they know alot of shit that other don't. Steven Hawking must be one too... Admit it, you're talking out of your ass. You really have no clue what paganism is right? You read one article in a newspaper once and have watched too many episodes of Charmed and Buffy and now you call yourself a pagan and that's why this is such a lame list.
33. There is no Army of 'Pagan Soldiers' - Ever looked at the Asatru? Onward Pagan Soilders...Marching on to the Mead... (Thanks Xentor and Eldric) There are quite a few pagan military groups, btw.
32. Pagans have a small idea of what prejudice might be - Redundant propaganda... See #'s 86, 84, 83, 82, 77, 60 and the prejudicial comments in 99, 92, 66, 57, 44, 40, 36 and 34, 31. against Christianity.
31. Priests and Priestesses can marry - Your point? So can every non-Catholic Christian preist/minister. Attacking other religions makes you feel so much better doesn't it. How fucking tolerant is this? (Thanks Eldric)
30. Rituals are beautiful and moving - Some people find rituals boring and unnecessary, no matter what religion is performing them. Believe it or not, going to mass, synagog also entails taking part in a ritual. Thus, not exclusively pagan, and infact, a major component in most religions. Try again.
29. We can help our gardens grow - You wanna point to the "Thou shall not use fertilizer" commandment for me? Is that in the Apocrypha or the Pseudoepigrahia? Cause my King James doesn't have those books. (Thanks Eldric)
28. There are powerful female role models - Like Ella Fitzgerald, Arethra Franklin, and Tina Turner... Oh wait, we don't have them.. We have the blonde sex bomb Fiona Horne and Silver Ravenwolf... Shit.
27. Chanting eases the heart - No, chanting when done properly is supposed to alter your consciousness. If it's not doing so, you're doing something wrong. Go back to Pagan 101. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. It's also possible that what you're experiencing is gas, or acid reflux; in case of the latter try Prilosec OTC. Oh wait, that's not weeds....errr...herbs... More hemlock?
26. You don't have to 'Worship' as in debasing yourself - Lovely. More redundancy. See answers to previous posts that said this. #'s 76, 66, and 40.
25. Women's issues are treated as valid and equal - Ahhh and so paganism has finally caught up with our modern western society. Congrats.
24. You'll never see a Pagan hassling non-Pagans to join - No, we just make sure we look damned cool so people wanna join all on their own! And we talk about things in a smugly superior way so that they need to learn about it just to join in our conversations. (Thanks Eldric.)
23. We are moved by deep emotion to care for others - Unless they are Christian, tobacco users, or anyone other than one's self. More redundancy. See #'s 42 and 41. (Thanks Eldric)
22. It takes a lot of knowledge to be Pagan -Unfortunately, it doesn't take a lot of knowledge to claim to be a Pagan...any dipshit can do that. (Thanks Eldric.)
21. The trees speak to us in the wind - I guess that now would be a good time to point out the lovely medications called "anti-psychotics" would it? Seriously, is this a reason to love your religion or your community? (Thanks Eldric.)
20. Magick is practical and real - And spelled 'magic' if you're an English speaking person. As for practical, that all depends on your beleifs...Thelemites usually don't concider running off a quick spell for trivial stuff. (Thanks Eldric.)
19. You can mix-and-match religions to reflect yourself - That's right, ignore all cultural and historical significance of said religions. Also, make sure to treat people that actually follow any specific religion like shit, since they've actually decided to follow an established path. Piss off as many people as you can in the process. Then whine incessantly about how abused you are because no one understands/respects/tolerates/likes you. This does however explain 79. "Even Pagans aren't quite sure where our beliefs come from."
18. You don't fall asleep during ritual - This may not apply to followers of Morpheus. If you think that Morpheus is that hot black guy from the Matrix, think again. Oh, and falling into a coma-like trance doesn't count....that's not sleeping, that's "experiencing another realm" (Thanks Eldric.)
17. You can believe in whatever deity you choose - Because crapping on socio-religious establishment is the true calling of all Pagan religions refer to #19 again. (Thanks Eldric.)
16. Access to the Priesthood open to all - WOW! Do I get a nifty decoder ring too? I bet spells out Ouija! (Thanks Eldric.)
15. You can believe whatever you want to - Honey, hit the phonograph, there must be a scratch in the record....Great Googly Moogly... How many times are you going to repeat this? I mean, it's beginning to seem like you're trying to convince yourself that it's true. (Thanks Eldric.)
14. You don't have to 'obey your husband' - Unless BDSM is your thing, and that's how your relationship is set up.... Look folks, being modern does not make you a Pagan. Hurray for Women's Lib. (Thanks Eldric.)
13. You don't have to vent your steamy tales to a jealous man. - Nope, you just vent your steamy tales all over an Online message board for all the world to see...jealous men, jealous women...bestiality freaks...stop lumping all Christian faiths with Catholics. Besides, all these jabs at Christianity make me think you're not as tolerant ans you're trying to come across. (Thanks Eldric)
12. Pagans are Socially conscious - Yeah, ALF, PETA....full o' pagans...and full o' happy goodness! Social consciousness isn't something limited to Paganism...let's check the Bible again.... Matthew 47: 34-44 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?se
11. Celebrating outside is almost painfully beautiful - It also gets cold, wet, hot, and people can spy on you. Oh, and sand in the crotch is so much fun... Not singular to paganism. Try again.
10. No Hierarchy - This number shows a frightening level of ignorance of pagan groups. Outside of a coven, grove, college, etc, there is no hierarchy. Within there should be.
9. Pagans don't demand to be right -As long as everyone agrees with them. Of course that's why there are all these arguements between purist and "fluffies"....because no one is "more right" than the other. Personally, I demand that they at least be accurate, semi-intelligible, and some what knowledgeable about what they're speaking about. Also, not repeating yourself every two seconds helps. (Thanks Eldric)
8. No Prostheletizing- See #24. Please, keep repeating yourself. It makes the job of responding to individual points that much easier.
7. Balance b/w Masculine and Feminine - Really? That's why most covens are all women? And how do you honestly explain Dianics? Whether there HAS to be balance or not has always been debatable. I do however find the fact that polarity which is a very large component in many pagan paths is not brought up at all except for these fringe comments about men and women being equal frightening. (Thanks Eldric.)
6. Rituals are practical and apply to real life - Of course they do....Penises really are knifes and you can really get someone pregnant by dipping your athame into a cup full of wine. Oh, and most people really do draw geometric figures with sharp-pointies around them before they start work on typing the letter the boss dictated. Another reptition. (Thanks Eldric)
5. I can feel the Goddess in everything I do - Honey, please, the God and Goddess have much better things to do than to molest you and your life. They have an entire universe to run. How about "I can feel the influence of the Goddess everywhere around me"? It's not nearly as arrogant. (Thanks Eldric)
4. Pagans love the Earth - Yes, we get it. Pagans love trees and flowers, and birds, and fairies, and elves, and the sun and moon, and stars, and hard drugs. Mars on the the other hand can go to Hell! Fuck Mars...we don't need it. It's just a target for those super-Pagans at NASA (remember Pagans know stuff that other people don't.) (Thanks Eldric)
3. Women are Fully Equal with Men - And often ever MORE equal than Men! Wow. Another repeition. Wasn't expecting that. Again, this is a concept known as M-O-D-E-R-N L-I-F-E. (thanks Eldric)
2. Open-mindedness - Because paganism accepts everything and everyone. (As long as you fit their happy little mold. Otherwise, you're just a total deviant.) see also: Christians, established pagan paths, anyone that doesn't agree with youAlso, you must love repeating yourself. Over. And over. And over. And over. And over again. Brainwash them into being tolerant. That's right my pretties... (thanks Eldric)
And the #1 reason I love Paganism
1. You're Allowed to Have Sex! - That's right. Sex of course being the main motivating factor behind any religious choice. Oh, wait, last chance to bash the Christians again! What? Christians aren't allowed to have sex? Then, how does one follow the Commandment "Be Fruitful and Multiply"? Fruit isn't talking Apples, and Mulitply isn't with a calculator; God is talking about gettin' it on. "Look, if you are looking for sex, you might wanna check out the Bunny Ranch outside of Los Vegas, Nevada....they take both boy and girl clients. (Thanks Eldric)
I'm issuing a challenge to any/all pagans out there. Can anyone come up with a list of any length of reasons they like paganism that doesn't make us all look like stupid, hypocritical, sex crazed, socially inept, deviant losers?
Feel free to copy, but please link back to this entry so proper credit can be given. It took several hours and a few people to do this. :P You should have seen the remarks we left out!
- Mood:
cynical - Music:Oh my Goth by Razed in Black
Page Summary
- (Anonymous) : Loved doing this with you. [+1]
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2)
wandereringray : (no subject) [+0] - vanrichten : Here's a list for you Kay [+1]
- ophelias_night : (no subject) [+0]
- wyrdmuse : (no subject) [+0]
- lunamoth42 : (no subject) [+0]
- zibblsnrt : (no subject) [+0]
- morricat : (no subject) [+0]
- (Anonymous) : (no subject) [+0]
Comments
Thanks Kay, good chuckle for a Monday morning.
If someone feels the need to quantify their religion with a list of why it's better than anything else, they just don't get it.
Wait... does that mean I know more than anyone else? Does that make me "really pagan" *ponders*
<3
I love the other broken assumption running through that whole list that thought, a basic grasp of logic, and self-consistency are considered bad even more, though. Ugh.
Absolutely brilliant.
Siarlas